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The pains of ADOPTION!

HI!! My name is John DOYLE (biological name), I was born in Saint John, NB., June 30, 1946
and I was given up for adoption at birth
and I guess I am joining the LONG LINE
of people who are looking for their biological parents.
I want to place my non-identifying information online in case something on here rings a bell to someone out there that could please help me find my biological mother.

I am living a happy, married life, I have a lovely wife and two kids and yet something is always missing in my life. I guess like most all adoptees, I have a void left by the fact that I do not know where I come from, I do not know my background, I have no medical background in case I need it, somewhere out there I have a mother, a father, maybe even brothers and sisters that I do not know.

A few years ago I needed a copy of my Birth Certificate so I wrote to Health and Community Services asking them to send me same. I was told I didnt exist! Apparently on my birth certificate was my real name and instead of giving me a certificate with my name, they decided to change my name because I was adopted ?? After they found out I was adopted of course

IS THIS LEGAL ??

How can this Dept. do this ?? They went into the NB Birth Records ? , changed my name to what it presently is ? and now there is no record of my birth name? How legal is this ?

Here is a copy of the fax I received from NB's Post Adoption Agency in 1996 after only a

3 MONTH WAIT

Does this Department need more staff maybe ?

"Your biological mother was single and 20 years old at the time of your birth. She is born in New Brunswick, of Irish origin (with the name DOYLE of course) and of Roman Catholic faith.

Your biological mother was described as being tall and Corpulent, with curly black hair and freckles. She was pleasant, seemed to have a superior intelligence and was in good health.

Your biolobical mother quit school in grade 11 to accept a job as a clerk typist in a bakery.

According to the information given by your biological mother, your biological father was 19 years old at the time of your birth. She didnt want to give any more information about your bio. father other than he was a "PLUMBER". Your biological father was not told of your biological mother's being pregnant and she insisted that he not be told.

Your biological mother went into labour at home and you were born there. No one of her family knew of her pregnancy. At the time of the delivery, her mother and her aunt were home.

The delivery went fast and you and your biological mother were trasported to the hospital afterwards.

Your biological mother did not receive pre-natal care during her pregnancy. She couldnt' believe she was pregnant. She tried many times to inform her mother of her pregnancy but without success. She felt very guilty and insisted that no one know of her condition.

Your biological mother was the 3rd of a family of 7 children. Her father had died 8 years prior to your birth. The cause of his death is not noted in your files. Her mother was alive and was in receipt of Mother's Allowance.

Your weight at birth was 5 pounds 13 1/2 ozs. and you measured 17 1/2 inches.

Your biological mother beleived that it was in your best interest that you be left with given up for adoption. She signed the adoption consent on July 8/1946.
You were placed with your adoptive parents July 13/1946.

Those are all the non-identification information we have. We hope they will answer some of the questions you have on your biological origin. (almost all but a name of my own)

If anyone out there should recognise any of this information PLEASE get in contact with Irene Doyle, who is helping me try to find my family, and you can reach her at this e-mail

colector@nbnet.nb.ca

Does anyone out there know how many bakeries there were in Saint John in those days?
Although I am not sure we are talking Saint John here.
Would anyone know anything that would fit into this Doyle family, 7 children, with the father who had died around 1938, with the name John maybe ? hummm...

Could it be?

Mary Rita Doyle maybe ? daughter of John James Doyle who died Dec. 1937 in Saint John,NB?
Had 7 children, she had a brother named John who was a plumber ? 1946 City directories show one R. Doyle and one Margaret Doyle (widow of John James) living on Tower Street
The only Doyle girl who was listed as living at home that year. The other info falls into place also
Could this be her? From all info found it sure sounds like it, and if it was her, she apparently has passed away over a year ago.

I guess what I (Irene) wonder most of all is what sort of woman would make a mistake some 50 years ago, then put it behind her and not look back, give up her own child, her own flesh and blood and not try to find him/her later in life. I realize that mistakes are human, that it happens, even way back then. I realize that you out there who did give up a child, have a new life, that maybe the circumstances around your getting pregnant were not pleasant ones. You dont' want to go back just forward in life. BUT... think of that child, the one you gave up, think of how he/she had nothing to do with your mistake, didnt ask to be born, and yet they are the ones suffering through life wondering who the heck you are ?

So why not act like an ADULT now, and take your responsabilities, the ones maybe you couldnt take way back then. Why not contact the Post Adoption Agency and tell them you would like to know who your kid is, what he/she looks like, where they are and what they are doing now. Maybe your kid is looking for you. If it works out fine if it doesnt well at least you both tried, questions have been answered, and you can accept and go on with your life, instead of spending your life wondering.

I know "Easy for me to say" ? YEAH and easy as picking up the phone or a pen for YOU to do.

Irene